We all fumble with decisions .. and sometimes we crumble defenselessly, casting away any barriers that come remotely close to our emotions; even a flibbertigibbet like her is guilty of such. Carnal instincts appear to be a miasma of toxic gas if invoked at the wrong time and place, with the wrong person. I have chosen to put a quietus upon that innate desire, for now.
You say life will become vapid? Not at all, for life's largess impresses even a dilettante like me.

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