As I sit alone in my darkened room, the only light emitting is from the screen of my laptop, and I look out the window ... At this ungodly hour of 5.31am, everything is is peaceful. All is tranquil and calm. And I want that for myself. I want to come to peace with myself, and the decisions I make.

I somehow feel I am on a piece of driftwood in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, allowing myself to be taken wherever the current goes. I can see the shore from afar, but no matter how hard I kick with my legs I never will reach it. Don't forget the sharks, yes, the sharks. They attack me, they bite me, they leave me bleeding, they leave me in pain. They try to be nice at times, but when they hurt me I guess they can't help it. It's their carnivorous nature.

The forbidden. We always want them more than anything else. The stupid. That's those who pine for the forbidden. The rush of adrenaline, when you think you're actually close to getting a taste of the Forbidden Fruit is indescribable ... but when the Forbidden Fruit slips away from your grasp and presents its availability to another, you feel like your insides are all yanked out.

I remember something I wrote last year, and I'm possessing the exact same thoughts right now ... It goes something like, "Things that have happened in the past two months or more, are like an illusion, a phantasmagoria of some sort ... Leaving me with almost certain doubt that all was a figment of my rather excitatory imagination, and a mere creation of my deranged mind. Were all that engulfed me then, chimerical?"

I used to belong to something special. Now that something special seemingly floated away ... I'd like to have it back, at least for this year.

Sleepiness does the weirdest things to you. I don't think I made much sense. Well, ANY sense at all. But I find it a pity not to publish what my fingers just blabbered. They do have minds of their own at times, really.

Ah, the darned beers ... such depressants these alcohols are. I'm a very happy person, really!

"Take me in your arms and let me know that it's alright
Look into my eyes and let me see you deep inside ... "

-->Artful Dodger - Twentyfourseven<--

|