So they say that everyone has a niche for herself in life, each individual will find something that she's good in. But ... what's mine? I have been pondering upon this for as long as I can remember, telling myself to be patient for my 'expertise area' will be revealed to me in time to come. My diffident being hopes that all will be evinced and known to me soon. The anticipation is dreadful. Plus the fact that I also consider the possibility of NOTHING being discovered, does that mean I'll walk this road a good-for-nothing? Now, that's depressing.

In all my 17 years of schooling, I was never one to study, the grades I obtained and how I managed to land up in varsity were all due to pure luck (Thank you, LadyLuck). I am about to graduate in one year, and people are expecting me to do my Honours year, hey, I would love to, but where is the point if I were to graduate with a lousy Honours degree? By doing so, I would have thrown one year of school fees, one year of time, and one year of potential wages down the drain! And talking about future work, I have no slightest clue as to what I am gonna do when I am done with university. Having followed through every single twist and turn of this horrific realisation that I am nothing, due to my faineant way of lifestyle, it has perforced me to contemplate my future. My faintestest bleak future ...

The notion of me, living as an insignificant mere speck of mediocrity gnaws slowly but surely, at my inner being. As much as I hate to admit it, I am indeed an absolutely plain female, in the purest form of vanilla, bred out of the utmost calibre of commonality. The things I do and accomplish, are all but perfunctory.

For all I know, I may jolly well be going through my quarter-life crisis. Whoever defined the 'full-life' as being 100 years? Most Singaporeans are unable to live till 100, even past 85 ... So that justifies the probability that I am possibly going through that cursed crisis. Mmm ...

-->Lucie Silvas - Breathe In<--

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