Yes, it might seem utterly strange that here I am, blogging in the midst of my finals, at the ungodly hour of 3.15am; when I could have blogged when I had more time on my hands. Well, it's a moment of peace that I have finally attained today - my granny has finally ceased shouting, screaming, yelling and over-exerting her larynx. I want this to remind me in the future, of how horrid this period of exams has been for me.

It's amazing how my neighbours seem to have something against me, and they do it in the most natural manner of sorts. Last semester's finals, my very next-door neighbour endeavoured in a 2.5mth long renovation (I swear I dreaded sleeping, knowing I'll be rudely awaken by the eardrum-bursting high decibels of noise). And now, my neighbour right above me is doing the exact same thing. This one, I'm really puzzled, because they seem to be ALWAYS drilling and knocking and renovating! Is there really so much home improvement that they can perform? Well so, in the day I have to deal with the noise, in the nights I have to deal with my gramps. Yes yes, you all will ask me to "go somewhere else to study", "get out of the house", but hey ... I've been really sleep-depriveed, fraught with terrible onsets of tension headaches, nausea and highly possible bouts of migraines too. My bedroom is no longer a sanctuary which I can slip into.

This noise has not bugged me for the past weeks only, I mean, people in this household have put up with my granny's incessant screaming for years. And I mean at least 5 years. My friends claim that it's a wonder I'm not insane yet. Soon, I assure you. At times, while I'm on Skype with my bedroom door shut, Lana can hear my granny really loudly - I dunno if there's a confound with my IBM laptop mic being REALLY good or what. Sometimes, I feel like I'm going crazy. Like her shouting just (Oh My Gawd, She Just Started Again!) ignites a lot of anger, annoyance, irritation and frustration. It's hard to describe.

A form of coping that I'm familiar with is food therapy. I swear I have been pigging out so much I can't wait for my exams to end. I will lapse back into my Muay Thai and badminton once more. My love handles are spilling over from the sides tremendously it hurts to do warm-ups and stretching to the sides. Everything has turned to blubberised lard. I get depressed when I see myself in the mirror, and then to battle my depression I stuff my face even more ... What a horrid vicious cycle. I need deliverance from this.

So I'll be sitting for my Logic paper in less than 6hrs, the bed is frantically luring me to it and soon I will be but a dead log. This semester is the worst by far. Conveniently absenting myself from lectures, tutorials, producing last minute slipshod midterm essays ... and not to mention, cramming and mugging the night/morning before my papers. Sigh, having FOUR papers consecutively is no joke.

Initially, I had a teeny weeny amount of hope that I would be able to pull my CAP up by that mere 0.07 to qualify for Honours, but after seeing how I've been this semester and after sitting for those dreadful papers, abandonment of hope is inevitable. I shall psyche myself up to graduate in one more semester.

Philosophical ideas are
Mirages in the desert.
Occasional sandstorms churn
And puncture mental bubbles.
Like sand dunes so formed,
Thoughts disperse as easily.

-->Tori Amos - Lovesong (acoustic)<--

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