I guess I'm going after all. It's just way too late to turn in the other direction to run. Somehow, my heart weighs a tonne, the disappointment of finding out that I have to go is immense. I prayed for help, I prayed for a sign; the sign came. I s'ppose it's meant to be that I go.

It's almost February, and it'll be a mere 2 more months before I will be gone for 3-4 months. I never liked dealing with change. There are so many things that I will be letting go of when I leave, and I'm afraid that when I get back, I no longer fit in with what I have in my life right now. All I can do now is pray for the best, and to hope that my spirits be uplifted.

Now, my first Fri night without my girls in a long time - I shall mope by myself at home, with my external HDD.

Everything happens for a reason, I know they do. However, if it's so ... Why do I feel so sad?

-->Sting - Englishman In New York<--

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